Meta said Australia's ban wouldn't work. At midnight, it worked.

It’s Wednesday… all day!

Hello, Curse and Coffee friends,

Today, we explore Australia’s social media ban.

Hit reply and let us know what you think (we read all of your kind words).

Coffee at the ready…

The take: Silicon Valley just proved it can enforce the rules it spent 15 years calling impossible. That's the story. Everything else is noise.

What happened: At midnight local time on Tuesday, more than one million Australian children lost access to Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Snapchat, and six other platforms under the world's first national social media ban for under-16s.

Why it matters: Tech companies warned the ban would fail, push kids to darker corners of the web, and violate free speech. Then they complied anyway. Meta started removing accounts a week early. TikTok deactivated users on schedule. YouTube signed everyone out. Fifteen years of "we can't" became twelve months of "fine."

What to watch: Malaysia is expected to implement a similar ban in 2026. The EU is drafting legislation for a "digital age of majority." If Australia's enforcement holds through Q1, expect a wave before the northern hemisphere summer.

At the UN, Emma Mason told world leaders how her 15-year-old daughter, Tilly, died by suicide after online bullying.

Platforms had 15 years to act. It took one mother to make them.

Before we slurp into today’s brew…

Here are some wordies from today’s sponsor.

Remember when software made business simpler?

Today, the average company runs 100+ apps—each with its own logins, data, and headaches. HR can’t find employee info. IT fights security blind spots. Finance reconciles numbers instead of planning growth.

Our State of Software Sprawl report reveals the true cost of “Software as a Disservice” (SaaD)—and how much time, money, and sanity it’s draining from your teams.

Read the full report and see how your company stacks up→

The future of work is unified. Don’t get SaaD. Get Rippling.

Stop SaaD in its tracks

Australia made platforms liable.

Fines run up to $49.5 million per violation. No penalties for children. No penalties for parents.

The entire burden sits on Silicon Valley's balance sheet. A procurement decision.

Australia then took the pitch global.

At the UN in September, they hosted an event to sell the ban, and the headline speaker wasn't a minister.

It was Emma Mason, a mother from Bathurst. She told world leaders what the platforms knew, what they measured, and what they didn't fix.

Greece's Prime Minister said it took courage to turn personal suffering into a call for action.

US tech lobbies responded by filing complaints with the Office of the U.S. Trade Representative. The eSafety Commissioner was summoned to Congress.

Trump says he'll defend American companies from foreign "attacks." Communications Minister Anika Wells shrugged: "I am not intimidated by big tech."

The lobbying continues. The accounts don't.

The case for: Platforms had two decades to protect kids and didn't. Legislation forced action in twelve months.

The case against: Bans push teens to unregulated spaces. A $22 Halloween mask defeated facial recognition in University of Melbourne trials.

Our read: Imperfect enforcement still shifts the default. Laws don't need 100% compliance to change norms, just enough friction to reset expectations.

eSafety Commissioner Regulatory Guidance — December 2025

"Age-restricted social media platforms will have to take reasonable steps to prevent Australians under 16 years old from having accounts on their platforms. A court can order civil penalties of up to $49.5 million AUD."

Why it matters: The fine print everyone skipped. "Reasonable steps" isn't defined—platforms decide how, and the government decides whether it's enough. That ambiguity is the leverage.

(eSafety.gov.au)

"Meta started deleting accounts on December 4. The law took effect on December 10." — CNN

☕ The workaround guide is already live. BBC details how teens are using VPNs, parent emails, and platform-hopping to dodge the ban. The arms race starts now. (BBC)

☕ Jonathan Haidt's research is under fire again. Nature Review says his phone-harms-teens thesis conflates correlation with causation. The science is muddier than the policy. (Nature)

☕ France wants a digital curfew. The proposal would block 15- to 18-year-olds from specific platforms overnight. Australia was the first domino. It won't be the last. (Biometric Update)

Join your team of caffeinated skeptics.

Opinionated world news that respects your time.

One bold take, the best counter, and the receipt(s) that prove it (all in sixish minutes).

You can read all our back issue newsletters for free here.

For the love of coffee, see you tomorrow!

Enjoy your Wednesday, keep it caffeinated.

Thanks for reading!

Are you subscribing?

Be sure to get your daily curse and coffee fix by hitting the pinkie below.